He Who Laughs Last
by Oracle's Protege
Summary: A look at what happened on that fateful night all those years ago. (Complete)
1. Chapter 1

This is my first time posting here. I hope everyone enjoys this and please let me know what you think.

He Who Laughs Last…

Jim Gordon fell into his chair with a heavy sigh. It had been a long day. He woke up this morning knowing that today was not going to go well. After all his years as Police Commissioner of Gotham and now New Gotham, he could feel a bad day coming, like a farmer could tell when it was going to rain or snow. He could not pinpoint it exactly, but it was like the feeling of having gigantic butterflies swirling around in his stomach. He endured that strange feeling all morning, waiting for some sort of disaster to strike. When the phone rang just after one o'clock, he knew that it was going to be bad. The Joker had escaped from Arkham Asylum again. It was beyond anyone and especially beyond Jim, how the Joker could continue to escape despite the extra precautions that were taken to keep caged. Jim immediately had called in every officer in the city and assigned as many as possible to hunt down the insane clown, but as night fell, the Joker was nowhere to be found. Fortunately, the Joker was not the only one who had aces up his sleeve. Jim had his own ace: Batman. After a few hours, Batman was able to track down the Joker. Jim had personally been there to take the Joker from Batman and Batgirl. Jim had never met Batgirl. If Jim thought Batman was mysterious and reclusive, Batgirl was twice that. He had only ever been able to catch a glimpse of her long red hair and nothing else. She was usually gone before he arrived on the scene.

Now that Joker was in his cell in Arkham, the butterflies in Jim's stomach should stop, but if anything, the ominous feeling had doubled since Jim had seen Joker placed in his cell. Jim sat behind his desk in his office in police headquarters and stared at the phone, knowing that more bad news was to come, and wishing with all his might that he was wrong.

*********

"I told you he's just a friend," Helena Kyle said trying to appear angry, but she could not prevent her giggle from escaping.

"Helena, Helena, Helena, you should know better than to try and hide things from me. I'm your mother," Selina Kyle said, enjoying the sound of her daughter's giggle and the sight of Helena's red cheeks. "I know everything about you, like how you snuck out last night after curfew."

Helena's laughter suddenly stopped as she paused in the middle of the sidewalk with a deer-in-the-headlights-of-a-car look on her face. "How?" Helena asked. She had been so careful. "I thought you were sleeping."

"Last week, Barbara helped me to install a motion detector outside your bedroom window," Selina answered.

"What?!" Helena yelled. "How could you do that?! I can't believe that Barbara would help you! I'm never talking to her again!"

Selina could not hold it in any longer. She burst out laughing. "Helena, I'm kidding," Selina said when her laughter had subsided. "There's no motion detector outside your room. You should tell your 'friend', John, that he should fix his muffler."

"His name is James," Helena said indignantly. Then with a sigh, she asked, "How long am I grounded for?"

Selina put her arm around her daughter's shoulders, hugging her close, and whispering, "I don't want to ruin our girls' night out with that information. Let's just say that this will probably be your last dinner and a movie for awhile."

Helena had to smile. Even when Selina was dishing out punishment, Helena could not stay mad at her mother for very long. She loved her mom so much. The two of them had always been more like friends than mother and daughter. Maybe that was why Helena had never felt like she missed out not having a father around. 

"It's too bad that Barbara couldn't come with us," Helena said. Barbara was like the older sister that Helena had always wanted.

"Well, she had to work tonight," Selina answered.

"Teachers don't work on Saturday nights," Helena said rolling her eyes. 

"Barbara has a second job. Now what movie are we going to see?" Selina asked quickly changing the subject. There were times when Helena felt like her mother knew things that she was not willing to share with Helena.

"I don't know," Helena said as they started to walk again. The sidewalk was getting crowded. "I want to laugh. Let's go see a comedy. Something really stupid so that we laugh the whole time."

"Come on, Helena. Don't you want to see something that will expand your mind. There's a documentary playing at that little theatre two blocks over," Selina said.

Both women started to laugh. Girls' night out never involved documentaries. The sidewalk was so crowded with people that neither Helena nor Selina noticed when a man in a brown trench coat approached them. Instead of moving over to let Selina pass, he walked right into her. Helena continued to walk and then turned back to see her mother's face contorted in pain. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Helena tried to reach out to her mother. The man moved out of the way and Helena could see the gaping wound in her mother's side. Helena caught her mother and tried to gently lower her to the ground.

"Mom? Mom?" Helena cried to her mother. Selina's eyes were open, but they were glazed over. "Mom, can you hear me? You have to hear me."

Helena looked up to see the man in the trench coat, her mother's attacker, standing at the edge of the crowd that had begun to form around the young girl and her mother.

"Someone stop him!" Helena shouted, but no one moved. The man ran away, leaving his bloody knife in a puddle as it started to rain.

*********

Batgirl hopped rooftops until she spotted the right building. She was careful to be quiet as she pried open a fourth story window and climbed in. The last thing she needed was for nosy Mrs. Roberts to see Barbara Gordon sneaking into the apartment building in her Batgirl costume.

Once inside, Barbara peeled off her mask and ran her hand through her sweaty hair. It had been a long night. It was amazing that even with Batman, Batgirl, and on occasion Nightwing, the crime rate in New Gotham continued to climb. It could be quite disheartening to have one's efforts make no difference, but Barbara felt like she had accomplished something good tonight by helping Batman to catch the Joker.

She walked into the bathroom and turned on the radio loud enough to hear over the running shower that she turned on as hot as she could stand. She pulled off the rest of her costume and let it fall to the ground. Her muscles already ached and she knew that she was going to be sore in the morning. It was late and she was tired, but she had to get up early the next morning because Bruce wanted to do some training. Bruce was always demanding perfection from himself and everyone around him. That was fine with Barbara because she was also a perfectionist. She climbed into the shower and let the hot water melt away all her thoughts until her mind was completely blank. 

"This just in," Barbara heard the reporter say over the radio. "There has been a murder on the East side of the city. Local businesswoman, Selina Kyle, was killed as she walked home with her daughter…."

Barbara did not hear the rest of the announcement. She turned off the water and rested her head against the glass door. _No,_ Barbara thought. _It must be a mistake._ Even as the thought enter her mind, Barbara instinctively knew that was not the case. Barbara was in too much shock to fully grasp the pain of losing her friend and then she thought of Helena. Without conscious thought, Barbara got out of the shower and put on a robe. She needed to find Helena. _Poor Helena_, Barbara thought. _Who would do this? _Guilt washed over Barbara. She was Batgirl. She should have been able to protect Helena and Selina. They were her friends. No, they were more than friends, they were like family. _I shouldn't have come home_, Barbara thought angrily. _I should have done another sweep of the city and then this would never have happened. It's all my fault._

Barbara's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her doorbell. She almost did not notice it and then she realized that it might be Helena. Barbara ran to the door, trying to figure out what she should say to the young girl. Her worry was unnecessary since Helena was not the one standing on the other side of the door.

*********

Helena ran through the city streets blinded by the tears that would not stop falling. She could not believe what had happened and part of her was sure that this was all a bad dream. She did not notice the police cars and the ambulance outside the building as she ran inside. Helena flew up the four flights of stairs and ran down the hall only to stop behind police crime tape that was blocking the rest of the hallway.

"Please, no," Helena mumbled to herself. 

She was now sure that she was dreaming. There was no other explanation for what she was seeing. The door to Barbara's apartment was wide open and there were police standing just outside the door. Several building residents were also standing behind the police tape watching. Nosy Mrs. Roberts was standing next to Helena, but the young girl did not notice because she could not pull her eyes away from the sight of the two paramedics lifting a stretcher on which Barbara laid, unconscious. One paramedic shouted something to the other and they quickly made their way down the hall to the elevator. Helena turned her head and watched, but she could not move. Barbara looked as pale as her mother had only a short time ago.

Everyone that Helena really cared about were dead. She was all alone. Her mind could not make sense of what had happened, what was happening. Finally, her mind reached the only conclusion that made any sense to her after the night's events. _This is all my fault_, Helena thought.

*********

Jim Gordon sat at his desk in his office, waiting. He could have left hours ago, but he knew that this night had more to offer him. The ominous feeling had not yet left him and was only intensifying by the minute. He had just been briefed about the Selina Kyle murder. Jim knew that Barbara was close to Selina and her daughter, Helena. He tried to call Barbara. He wanted to be the one to tell Barbara, but his call went unanswered. Jim figured that his daughter must be out having fun, maybe she was out with Dick Grayson.

Jim was momentarily lost in thought, and that was when the phone rang. For years to come, he would blame that brief lapse in concentration for what had happened. Jim listened quietly to the person on the other end of the phone line. Finally, the butterflies were gone. This was what he had been waiting for all day. He hung up the phone without any sign of emotion.

"My baby," he whispered quietly.

*********

Batman stepped out of the Batmobile. He walked over to the giant screen in the Batcave and turned on the news. A commercial break was interrupted by a breaking news story. Bruce Wayne sighed as he pulled off his cowl. No matter how hard he tried he could not stop every crime. He sat down to listen to the reporter. Alfred came running into the Batcave.

"Master Bruce, there is something that I must tell you," Alfred Pennyworth said breathlessly. He was not sure where to start. He, himself, was still in shock from the phone call that he had just received. Fortunately for Alfred, the news reporter beat him to the chase.

"Blood has been shed over the city tonight," the newsman said with the unemotional tone of someone used to announcing horrible events, but never having been directly affected by such an event. "Earlier this evening, Selina Kyle, a local businesswoman, was stabbed to death as she was walking around the east end of town with her daughter. An hour later, Police Commissioner Gordon's daughter, Barbara, was shot in her apartment. She is in critical condition at New Gotham General Hospital and may not survive the night. At this time, the two events are believed to be unrelated. Now, we go to Sally McIntyre who is at Arkham Asylum, where the Joker has escaped for the second time today."

Bruce turned off the television. An eerie silence filled the cave as Bruce tried to process what he had just learned.

"Selina…Barbara…no…" Bruce mumbled to himself. Then he was filled with anger as he shouted, "JOKER!"

Bruce quickly stood up and re-donned his cowl. He ran to the Batmobile.

"This is the last time!" Bruce shouted as he hoped into the car.

"Wait! Master Bruce, where are you going?" Alfred asked as he tried to run after Batman. He had never seen such anger in the younger man's eyes.

********* 

"Hello, Batman!" Joker said gleefully as Batman entered the room. "I've been waiting you know. Did you like my gifts? "

"This ends here, Joker," Batman said flatly. Bruce had come to a decision. "You're never going to hurt anyone again."

"Oh! Come on, Bats! It was just a joke," Joker said shaking his head and laughing. Then his tone became sinister as he said, "The cat mews no more and the bat no longer flies. And the punch line is that you don't have the balls to finish me off. That's the problem with you, vigilantes, and your moral code. You can't do the job right. I kill your lover and hopefully your partner too and still you can't kill me."

Batman lunged at the Joker and the two traded a few blows, but the Joker was no match for the Dark Knight. Batman put the Joker in a headlock. He could hear the news report replay in his mind over and over again. Each time, his arms tightened around the Joker's neck a little bit more until the clown stopped laughing. The Joker lost consciousness, but Batman did not ease up. He squeezed harder. The Joker's neck was at the point of snapping and still Batman did not stop.

"Freeze!" a police officer yelled as she and her partner burst into the room, guns drawn. "Put him down!"

Batman snapped out of his anger. He dropped the Joker to the floor. 

*********

Jim sat next to Barbara's hospital bed, watching her chest rise and fall as a machine breathed for her. He held her hand, wishing and praying that she would open her eyes, smile at him, and then call him a goofball for getting so emotional.

"Oh, Barbara…" he moaned trying not to break down into tears. He gently kissed the back of her hand afraid to move her too much, afraid that he would make things worse.

"I'm so sorry, Barbie," he said quietly and then he began to yell, "I'm the police commissioner, damn it! What the hell kind of police officer am I if I couldn't even protect my own daughter?!"

He stopped as tears began to fall. 

"I know you don't like it when I swear," he said wiping away the tears. "I'm not worried, Barbara. I know how pigheaded you can be. I know that you're going to be fine." He nearly began to cry again remembering what the doctor had said. If she survived, nothing would be fine again. "Don't listen to the doctors, Barbara. Doctors are wrong all the time and they don't know how tenacious and determined you can be. You're a fighter just like your old man. Anyway, I think I'm going to take up jogging like you 'politely' suggested at Thanksgiving last year when you poked at my growing waistline. I'm really going to do it this time. I promise. I could come with you on your morning jog, but of course, you'll give your old man a head start because he isn't as young or athletic as he used to be.

"I love you, Barbara. Please don't leave me. I can't go on without you," Jim said softly. "I'm sorry, baby. This is all my fault."

*********

Batman stood outside Barbara's window. He could see Jim sitting next to Barbara, talking to her. Jim seemed to have aged at least ten years since Batman had seen him a few hours ago. A nurse came into the room and urged Jim to go take a walk and get some coffee to clear his head. She promised to get him if anything changed.

After Jim and the nurse left the room, Batman quietly snuck into the room. He just stood there staring at Barbara's still form, listening to the beep of the heart monitor and the whoosh of the respirator. It was just as he feared. He had not dreamed the earlier part of this night. He had just come from breaking into the morgue where he had witnessed with his own eyes Selina's dead body. It was taking all his strength and determination not to break down and collapse to the ground in tears.

"Barbara…" he started. "I'm not sure if you can hear me, but I need to tell you this before I leave. I don't think that I've ever told you this, because as you know I can sometimes be headstrong, but you are…were…no…are a great partner. I'm sorry if I didn't always let you feel like my equal, but you are."

He kept waiting for her to sit up and tell him that this was all some kind of prank, a late April Fool's joke.

"I can't do this anymore," he said quietly. "Selina is dead. I thought that I had gotten over her when she left Gotham sixteen years ago, but I never stopped loving her and this city reeks of her presence. On the way here, I past at least ten places were I caught her stealing something. I always thought that if the Joker wanted to hurt me that he would come after me personally. I never imagined that he would go after you or Selina to get to me. I can't afford to make that mistake again. I'm leaving New Gotham. Joker is getting what he wants. Batman is no more. Tonight, I became more like him than I ever would have thought possible, because tonight I almost killed the Joker. That's not event the worst part. I was happy about it and as we speak, the thought of killing him does not disgust me. I'm sorry that I'm leaving you when you need me the most, but I'm no good to anyone anymore. I need to leave, to be alone. I don't know when or if I'll ever be back, but know that you are always in my thoughts. I'm having papers drawn up that will start a fund for you so you can continue our work. This city still needs a hero, Barbara. I'm also setting up a fund for Selina's daughter. I know that it won't replace her mother, but I'm a billionaire and so if Batman can't help then maybe Bruce Wayne can."

Batman turned away from Barbara and walked to the window. He looked out over the city that had taken so much from him.

"I'm sorry, Barbara," he said climbing onto the window ledge. "Good-bye, Batgirl."

As he jumped out the window, one thought passed through his mind. _This is all my fault_.

*********

In Arkham's maximum security wing, laughter echoed through the hall. The laughter came from a small, dark cell with no windows. The Joker laughed as he thought of the nights events. He laughed so hard that he fell to the floor and still he continued to laugh like a maniac. He laughed so hysterically that he could barely get enough air into his lungs to keep him alive. Still, he kept laughing. He laughed all through the night and into the morning and even as they led him to the van that would take him far away from New Gotham. He laughed because he knew that it was really all his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

Batgirl ran across the rooftops of New Gotham feeling the wind slap her face and her cape flap behind her. It was a perfect night. The moon was full and hung high in the star-filled sky. There was a slight chill in the air, but that only helped to keep Barbara cool as she ran around the city in her costume. She had stopped a convenience store robbery, two break-ins, and helped a guy change a flat tire. It was a pretty slow night. What Barbara really wanted was some action, but she had not heard from Batman in the last few nights. The supervillains seemed to be on hiatus. _I should be happy for the calm_, Barbara thought, but she really needed to feel the blood rush through her veins full of adrenalin as she fought the likes of Penguin, Poison Ivy, or the Mad Hatter.

She stood atop the New Gotham Bank in the centre of town. It was the second highest building in the city, and from here, Batgirl could look down on the city and see all that it had to offer. She looked out and instinctively, she knew that something was not right. She scanned her surroundings, but everything seemed quiet. Yet, Barbara had this nagging feeling that something was askew. She then heard a loud explosion and turned to see that an office building to the south of her position was on fire. Forgetting her nagging feeling, Barbara ran toward the burning building. She used a fire escape to get to street level and spotted Batman standing in front of the building.

"What happened?" Barbara asked as she approached the Dark Knight.

"You shouldn't be here, Barbara," Batman said without answering Barbara's question as he watched the building burn. 

"The whole, this is a boys' club act, is getting really old, _Bruce_," Barbara answered, intentionally using his name. If he could use her name when she was in costume, then she could do the same to him. "I think that I've proven that I can take care of myself, and although I know that you'll never admit it, I am useful to this city. I'm good and you know it."

"That's not the point, Barbara," Bruce said still refusing to turn and look at her. "You need to stop pretending. It's been days now."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Barbara asked. This was cryptic even for Batman. Although Barbara still had no idea what he was talking about, the strange feeling she had earlier returned. 

"You know what I'm talking about," he said. Batman turned to face Barbara as he delivered the final blow. "You know what _he_ did."

With Bruce's last statement, Barbara saw different images flash in front of her eyes. Green hair. The barrel of a gun. The ceiling of her apartment. Then darkness. 

When the darkness was lifted, she found herself in her apartment. She was wearing a robe and her hair was wet. Water ran down the back of her neck. She was walking toward the door. Someone had knocked. _Don't do it!_ her mind yelled, but her body did not listen. It continued to walk toward the door. Her hand reached out and opened the door. Barbara looked up to find the last person she ever expected to see at her door standing there with a gun pointed at her. She had no time to react as she saw the flash of the muzzle and heard the explosion of the bullet being propelled out of the gun's chamber. Then she felt the pain as the bullet tore through her abdomen and she found herself falling. She stared at the ceiling, unable to move or make a sound.

"Knock, knock," he said sinisterly. "Who's there? Batgirl - past tense."

********

Barbara woke up, forgetting the dream as she began to regain consciousness, but the fear stayed with her. Her heart was pounding. She opened her eyes and was nearly blinded by the brightness of the room. Everything seemed to be a glowing, brilliant white. _Where am I?_ she thought as she realized that she was not in her room, in her own bed. The residual fear from her dream intensified as she realized that she was still in a nightmare. She tried to sit up only to find that she could not. She was assaulted by an intense pain. It was so intense that she could not pinpoint its origin. It felt like every neuron in her body was screaming with pain. She opened her eyes and scanned the room as best she could. She could hear an annoying beep over to her right, but she could not see what was making the noise. She looked to the left and spotted a mop of grey hair.

"Daddy?" she whimpered, quietly.

Jim Gordon quickly jumped out of the chair where he had been sleeping and ran to Barbara's side.

"Barbie? You're awake, baby," he said softly as he gently caressed her forehead with his hand.

Barbara was trying to process what was happening. She had finally figured out that she was in the hospital, but she had no idea how she had gotten there. 

"What happened?" she asked quietly. 

"Princess," Jim said carefully, trying to maintain control of his emotions. He did not want to upset her. He was so relieved to see her green eyes again and to her voice. She had been unconscious for nearly five days. "You got hurt pretty bad."

"You know I don't like to be called princess," Barbara said as she tried to keep her eyes open, but they felt so heavy.

"Don't worry, princess. Go to sleep. Daddy will be right here when you get up," Jim said as Barbara drifted off into the bliss of sleep.

********

"Commissioner Gordon, I explained to you that Barbara probably would not remember what had happened," Doctor Conley said gently as she talked to Jim in the family waiting room of the ICU. "After such a traumatic experience, the mind protects itself by blocking out the painful memories. I'm very confidant that this is not a sign of brain damage. The memory lose is most likely temporary, but try not to tell her too much about what happened. It will be better for her if she remembers on her own."

"I understand," Jim said hanging on the doctor's every word. He had been in the hospital countless times during his police career and he had often been present when a family member was brought bad news, but it was so different when it was his daughter that the doctors were talking about. He had so many questions to ask. So many questions that he needed to be answered, but he was afraid of the answers. Mustering all his courage, Jim asked, "About what you said before…umm…could the…umm… the para-…," Jim choked on the word. _Barbara isn't paralysed_, he told himself firmly. "Umm…could it be temporary? Like the memory loss."

Doctor Conley motioned for Jim to sit down on the nearest sofa. This was by far her least favourite part of the job. Jim wearily fell into the couch. He had slept no more than a few hours in the last five days and was only staying awake because of coffee that he guzzled non-stop and the fear that if he was not vigilant that death would steal Barbara away from him. 

"Commissioner, I know that this is difficult for you to accept, but you need to understand what I'm telling you," she started slowly. "Barbara was shot at point-blank range. She was fortunate in that the bullet didn't do any major damage to her organs as it travelled through her abdomen and so far neither the bullet wound nor the incisions from surgery show signs of infection, but her spine is a different story. I'm going to be graphic because I think that this is the only way for you to really hear what I'm saying. Like I said, the bullet didn't do any major damage as it travelled through her abdomen, but it exited through her spine. The bullet shattered two of her vertebrae and completely severed her spinal cord. There's a two inch gap in her spinal cord. That isn't going to heal. She is completely paralysed from the waist down. There is research being done to cure this type of injury, but it isn't anywhere near the stage where it could help your daughter. The sooner you accept these facts, the more help you will be to Barbara. With physical therapy and practice, she'll be able to lead a fairly normal life, but it's going to take a lot of effort on her part and she's going to need your help."

"I know," he said dejectedly, desperately wishing to wake from this nightmare.

********

"Helena, this is Mr. and Mrs. Johnston," the social worker spoke softly. "They'll be taking care of you, okay?"

Helena did not say anything as she stood in the foyer of the Johnston's home. What could she say? Five days ago, she had witnessed her mother's murder. Since then she had been living in a fog. She felt like she had been transported from her real life and dumped into another dimension with familiar places and faces, but everything was all wrong. When the police had found her after she had run away from Barbara's apartment, they had tried to convince her that Barbara was still alive, but Helena had seen Barbara's pale face and the blood soaked carpet in the apartment. Helena was sure that everyone was just trying to protect the little orphan. _This can't be real_, Helena thought. She would play along with this new dimension in the hope that if she went with the flow, she would soon wake from this hell.

********

Barbara woke up in a panic. She had been having the same nightmare for days now, but this time she was able to remember her dream and her fear was all the more poignant because of that. She remembered what had happened to her. Blessedly, she did not remember every detail only that she had been shot by the Joker in her apartment. _How did he find me?_ she wondered.

"Dad?" Barbara said rousing Jim from his thoughts as he stood at the window looking out over New Gotham.

He quickly rushed to her side and gently kissed her forehead.

"I'm so glad you're awake," he said with a small smile. "You've been sleeping so long that I almost resorted to talking to myself. The last thing I need is for people to think that I'm crazy. That's suppose to be our secret." 

Barbara felt uneasy. Her father only rambled like this when there was bad news to deliver, like when her dog, Charlie, had died in the sixth grade.

"What's going on?" Barbara asked alarmed. "You only ramble like this when something bad has happened. I'm okay, right?"

"You know what I should probably get the doctor," Jim said pretending to not hear Barbara. "She'll want to know that you're awake."

Before Barbara could say anything, Jim was gone and she was left alone to think of the horrible possibilities that would scare her courageous father away.

********

"This will be your room, Helena," Mrs. Johnston said as she took Helena upstairs. "You'll share it with our other daughter, Elizabeth."

Mrs. Johnston opened the door to the bedroom. It was a small room with two beds and two desks, a closet, and chest of drawers. A girl about Helena's age sat on the bed furthest from the door listening to a CD player and reading a magazine.

"Elizabeth meet your new sister, Helena," Mrs. Johnston said warmly.

Elizabeth pasted on a phoney smile, although Mrs. Johnston did not seem to notice the lack of sincerity.

"Welcome to the jailhouse," the girl said with a flat voice as she lowered the magazine and made eye contact with Helena.

"Oh, don't listen to her, Helena," Mrs. Johnston said with a chuckle. "She's such a kidder. I'll let you unpack and meet your new sister."

Mrs. Johnston left the room and Helena was left alone with Elizabeth.

"The right half of the closet is yours and so are the two bottom drawers of the wardrobe," Elizabeth said as she picked up her magazine. "Don't touch my stuff. Ever."

Helena did not answer and started to unpack her small suitcase. 

"So why are you hear?" Elizabeth asked. When Helena did not answer, she continued, "Are you a runaway or did you just get out of juvie?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Helena said trying to busy herself with hanging up some shirts.

"Ooh…mysterious," Elizabeth said mockingly. "Let me guess. Kids from juvie usually like to boast about their exploits and runaways smell a lot worst than you do right now. So I'm going to say that you've got crappy parents. Are they in jail or did they give you up willingly?"

Before Elizabeth could get out a laugh, Helena was across the room and in Elizabeth's face.

"Don't you ever talk about my mom like that," Helena said menacingly as rage and adrenalin pumped through her blood. "I said I don't want to talk about it."

"Whoa, heel, boy," Elizabeth said trying to regain her composure and not let on that Helena had scared her. That was when she noticed the strangest thing. "What the hell's wrong with your eyes?!"  


Helena went over to the mirror above the wardrobe and caught a glimpse of her narrowed pupils. They looked almost like cat eyes. Before she had time to really examine them, they returned to normal. _What the hell?_ Helena thought.

********

"Hello, Barbara," an older woman in a white coat said approaching the bed where Barbara lay. "I'm Doctor Conley. How are you feeling right now?"

"I was shot. How the hell do you think I feel?" Barbara said impatiently. When she was scared, Barbara had a tendency to lash out at people, and she had never been more scared than she was right now. As she had been lying in bed waiting for her father to return with the doctor, she had discovered some unpleasant things. It seemed that someone had tied her legs down because she could not move them. Logically she knew that made no sense, but she was unwilling to consider other explanations.

Doctor Conley did not miss a beat and continued to smile reassuringly as she said, "I realize that, but if you could humour me and tell me what you feel, I would really appreciate it."

Barbara sighed and then started, "Well, my entire midsection hurts and I feel really light-headed."

"That's to be expected. You were shot in the abdomen and you probably feel light-headed from the pain medication that we're giving you," the doctor explained as she pulled a chair up to side of the bed and sat down. Now, the doctor was eye-level with Barbara. "Okay, I'm just going to come out and say this. The bullet entered your abdomen and travelled pretty much straight through without really damaging any of your organs." Barbara felt some relief at this revelation, but she could sense that the doctor had more to say. "The problem was when the bullet exited. Regrettably, the bullet exited through your back." Barbara suddenly felt really cold. It seemed like the temperature in the room had dropped ten degrees. 

The doctor continued more delicately, "The bullet hit your spine…"

The doctor continued to talk, but Barbara did not hear what she was saying. _No! She's lying!_ Barbara thought finally understanding why she could not move her legs. _This isn't real! This isn't happening!_ Barbara looked at the lumps in the blanket where her legs lay and willed them to move. _Please, let this be a dream!_ Barbara plead to whatever higher power would listen. The doctor said something comforting and then left the room. 

Jim immediately went to Barbara's side and embraced her. He kissed the top of her head and said, "It's okay, Barbara. It's going to be okay," he tried to convince them both.

********

Helena had been with the Johnston's for two weeks now. Mrs. Johnston was eerily cheery, Elizabeth was a jerk, and Mr. Johnston was never home. Helena stayed at school everyday as long as she could in order to avoid going back to the Johnston's. The weekends were the worst because there was no escape. Helena was not sure how long she could survive in this place. She felt trapped, like a caged animal. It was only a matter of time before she needed to make an escape.

********

It had been two weeks since Doctor Conley had dropped a bombshell on Barbara. At night Barbara dreamed of an evil green-haired monster, and she woke up to find herself in another nightmare. She could not decide which one was worst.

She was trying to be strong for her father. Barbara could see the toll that this was taking on him. She could not talk to him about how she felt because it would only cause him more pain and worry. Barbara was all alone. She had hoped that Bruce would stop by and see her. At first when he did not show up, she thought it was because he was disappointed in her for not being able to stop the Joker. Then Alfred had stopped by to tell her that Bruce had left New Gotham. Barbara should have been surprised by this news, but nothing surprised her anymore. This was mostly due to the fact that she felt hallow inside. At first, she was angry, but now she felt nothing at all, like she was dead inside.

There was a light tap at the door.

"Come in, Dad," Barbara said. "Where did you go to get coffee? You've been gone for nearly an hour."

When the door was pushed open, Barbara did not see the grey-haired head of her father, but the green-haired monster of her nightmares.

"Hello, Batgirl," Joker said as he came into the room. "I'm sorry. I should say ex-Batgril. You can't be Batgril now that I've clipped your wings."

He walked toward her bed. Barbara wanted to run and scream, but she definitely could not run and suddenly her local cords seemed paralysed too. The Joker sat on the edge of her bed and ran his hand down the side of her face.

"How's it going, Babs? Do you mind if I call you Babs?" Joker asked pleasantly as he pulled out a gun. "I thought I would stop by and finish what I started earlier."

The Joker put the gun to her forehead and cocked the hammer. Barbara waited for the sound of the shot, but it never came.

"Wait a minute," the Joker said. "You want me to do it, don't you? Thanks a lot. Now, you've gone and ruined my fun. I can't kill you when that's what you want."

********

Barbara woke up with a start. _Relax_, she told herself. _It was just a dream_. At least the part with the Joker was a dream, because she was still in the hospital unable to even wiggle one toe. _I don't really want to die, do I?_ Barbara asked herself. Barbara had always been a fighter. Nothing ever stood in her way. It wasn't like her to just roll over and give up, but for the first time in her life, that's what was happening. She finally acknowledged the thought that had been in the back of her mind for the last two weeks. She really did wish that the Joker had finished her off.

********

__

Where is it?! Helena thought as she searched through the drawer again. She knew that she placed the necklace from her mother in the bottom drawer inside a pair of socks, but now she could not find it. Elizabeth watched from her bed and laughed.

"Did you lose something?" Elizabeth asked snidely.

Helena snapped her head around to see that Elizabeth was holding the necklace in her hand.

"Give that back," Helena growled.

"Say please," Elizabeth answered as she started to put the necklace around her neck.

Helena was on top of her in a split second, ripping the necklace from Elizabeth's hand and striking her across the face at the same time. Elizabeth's lip split and began to bleed.

"What the hell?!" Elizabeth shouted stunned by Helena's speed. "You're a freak, you know that! Look at your damn eyes! They're like an animals!"

Helena put the necklace around her own neck and looked in the mirror to see that her eyes had gone cat-like again. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ Helena wondered.


	3. Chapter 3

I forgot to mention this in the previous chapters, but I don't own these characters. They belong to the WB and DC Comics.

Barbara sat in her hospital bed. It had been nearly three weeks since the Joker had shot her. She was now starting to do a little physiotherapy. It was so rewarding to relearn the simplest things, like how to sit up, when she used to be able to wipe the floor with the meanest criminals that the city had ever seen. Every day dragged on for what seemed like a year. Things only seemed to be getting worst since her drug-induced haze was lifted as the doctors began to reduce the amount of pain medication that she was receiving.

There was a light tap at the door and Barbara heard a peppy woman's voice say, "Good morning, Barbara!"

Barbara cringed inwardly. She could not stand, literally and figuratively, the young nurse who always had a smile on her face and a cheery word to say. Of course, it was easy to be cheery when you had pretty little legs to bounce into the room on. Barbara wanted to pretend to be asleep, but it was too late. _Damn! I shouldn't have let my guard down!_ Barbara thought angrily. _Maybe if I ignore her, she'll go away._

"It's a beautiful day outside and I thought you might want to go for a walk," the nurse said without realizing her faux-pas. 

Barbara turned her head to face the nurse, hurt and shocked by the careless words only to be faced with another insult.

"Get that out of here," Barbara said through clenched teeth.

"Oh don't be silly," the nurse said as she parked the wheelchair next to Barbara's bed. "You can't spend your entire day in this stuffy room."

Seeing the chair made Barbara lose the little sanity she had left. The last thing Barbara needed was for this perky nurse to rub in her face all that she had lost. 

"My father is the police commissioner and I'm a close personal friend of Bruce Wayne so if you don't get that goddamn thing out of here right now, I'll make it so that you can't work at the zoo collecting the shit from the bottom of the cages, let alone anything close to a nurse!" she shouted in a rage. Barbara saw the look of surprise and hurt on the woman's face, but she did not care. No one could hurt as much as Barbara did. "You better switch shifts with someone because I never want to see you ugly little face or hear your screechy voice ever again."

Motion in the busy hall outside Barbara's room stopped as all could hear Barbara's shouts. The young nurse ran out of the room in tears and nearly ran into Jim Gordon. He hardly noticed as he tried to keep himself from collapsing to the floor in misery. While everyone else heard a self-absorbed spoiled brat yelling, he heard the plea for help that his little girl was too proud to enunciate.

*******

"Hey, freak," Elizabeth said as she and her friends blocked Helena's path.

"Get out of my way," Helena said impatiently, trying to go around the girls, but there was three of them. It was the same thing every day. Whenever she ran into Elizabeth, the girl insisted on trying to intimidate Helena. Helena tried to avoid Elizabeth, but she was getting tired of taking the long way to her classes and since she and Elizabeth shared a room, it was hard for Helena to avoid her at home. Not that the Johnston's house was much of a home.

"Come on, freak," Elizabeth said. "Change your eyes so everyone can see what a freak you are."

Helena rolled her eyes trying to seem unconcerned, but inwardly she was terrified that everyone could tell that there was something wrong with her. Helena tried to go around her tormentors again only to have Elizabeth's mignon to the right hit her books out of her hands. As Helena heard her books crash to the floor, she could feel the rage burning in her chest.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Helena shouted, unable to control her anger. "I've never done anything to you! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

There was an awkward silence as Elizabeth and her friends gave Helena a strange look.

"Whoa…what happened to her eyes?" the girl closest to Helena said shaken as she took a step back.

__

Please not again, Helena pleaded as she ran to nearest washroom.

*******

Jim Gordon stood outside Barbara's hospital room. It had been two days since Barbara's blow out with the nurse. The young nurse had not been seen at the hospital in that time and Jim overheard that she was taking time off until she could be transferred to another floor. Jim had a difficult task to do. Barbara was refusing to go to physiotherapy. He knew that she hated to get into a wheelchair and to have people push her around. Jim hated it too. Every time he saw Barbara, he felt guilt and shame at not being able to protect her. _Suck it up, Jim_, he thought himself as he took a deep breath and moved into the room.

Barbara lay in her bed looking out the window like she had for the last two days. It broke Jim's heart to see her so sad, so vulnerable. He wanted to reach out to her. He desperately wanted to tell her that everything would be fine, but he knew that if he was ever going to see the strong, independent Barbara that lay underneath the misery, he needed to stop cuddling her. 

"Listen up, Barbara," Jim said in his best bad-cop voice. "You've done enough moping. I didn't raise a quitter so you're going to start going to physio. Bad things happen to the best of people and this seems to be as bad as things can get, but you can't give up. I won't let you. You know that if I could, I would change places with you in an instant," Jim said as the bad-cop persona slipped away for a moment. Barbara looked up and knew that what he was saying was true as he continued, "We can't change the past, no matter how much we would like to. That leaves you with two options. You can either go to physio and learn to live your life the way things are, grateful to be alive, or you can waste your life mourning over what could have been. Either way I'll be here to help you and support you, but I think you know what you need to do. Gordon's don't quit."

Jim ignored Barbara's tears as he walked out of the room. He did not stop walking until he reached the parking lot behind the hospital. Once he was protected by the tinted windows of his car, Jim let his own internal wall come down and let himself weep for his baby girl.

*******

Helena could not take much more of this. _How the hell did things get so messed up?_ she asked herself. Two months ago, she had been a normal teenager living with her mother. Now, her mother was dead and she was living in a foster home, sharing a bedroom with the devil herself. On top of that, something was wrong with her eyes. They changed shape and she could see in the dark when others needed to turn on a light. Helena had never been so angry and at the same time so scared. Her emotions continued to build, but she had no way to release them. She drifted off into sleep, knowing that things would come to a head soon.

*******

"Damn it!" Barbara shouted as she nearly fell to the floor. She still was not very good at transferring in and out of the chair.

Barbara rolled herself over to the window in her room at the rehabilitation centre. She had moved there over a month ago. She was glad to be out of the hospital, although in reality the centre was merely a nicer looking hospital. She had learned a lot in the last few weeks about how to manage her condition. Barbara still could not think of herself as disabled. From what she was told, this was a normal reaction to the trauma. She had even attended a few support group meetings, but she did not get much out of the sessions. No one there understood how much she had lost. Batgirl had died that night. Batgirl was the real her, while Barbara Gordon was merely the mask that she wore to protect Batgirl. _What do you do when the real you dies and all that's left is the shell of your real self?_ Barbara thought for the hundredth time.

There was a knock at the door and then entered Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce's butler and the Bat Clan's greatest confidant. He maintained a stoic face, although it sadden him immensely to see Miss Barbara sitting in that wheelchair, and a part of him was so angry with Master Bruce. Alfred of all people understood Master Bruce the best, but even he was having a hard time justifying Master Bruce's absence when Miss Barbara clearly needed all the support she could get.

"Alfred," Barbara said a little surprised. "How nice to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Miss Barbara," Alfred said. "I've brought you some papers from Master Bruce. I hope this is a good time."

"Well, I was about to go for a run, but I guess I can delay that a bit," Barbara said bitterly and then regretted her words. Alfred did not deserve that. "Why didn't Bruce bring them himself?"

Barbara suspected the answer, but she needed to hear it out loud. When Bruce had not shown up at the hospital after she was hurt, she knew the reason. He was disappointed and angry with her for letting the Joker catch her off guard. He probably regretted ever allowing her to wear the bat emblem.

"I don't know how to tell you this, but he's gone," Alfred said. It was still strange for him to think that Master Bruce had left his life and everyone in it. "He left that night," Alfred tried to say gently. "I think this letter explains everything."

Barbara took the envelop from Alfred and began to read silently.

__

Dear Barbara,

By the time Alfred gives you this letter, I will be far away from New Gotham. I'm sorry that I couldn't be smart enough or strong enough to stop the Joker when I had the chance. I'm sorry that you and Selina had to pay for my failing. And I'm sorry that I'm leaving you when you need me the most, but you of all people know that I don't deal well with emotions, especially not my own. This city has taken so much from me and those I care about that I no longer have hope that I can change it. There is a darkness in my soul that I never knew existed and until I can face that darkness, Batman cannot exist. I don't know when I will be back or if I will ever be able to come back. 

All of Wayne Enterprise's resources are at your disposable. Whatever you need. The best doctors, equipment, physiotherapists, they're yours. Just let Alfred know and it will be done. Don't let your pride lead you astray like I have. There is no weakness or shame in having a little help from good friends. I've already started construction of an apartment for you. It should be finished by the time that you are ready to move in. This apartment will be perfect for both of your lives. I know that you probably don't think you want that life again, but I know you Barbara. You're determined and stronger than I ever gave you credit for. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. It won't be the same, but I know that you'll find your own path. You were always meant to be more than just my shadow. To this end, you'll have an unlimited access to funds from Wayne Enterprise. 

I would wish you luck, but I know that you don't need it. 

You are always in my thoughts,

Bruce 

Barbara read the letter over twice. She could not believe what she had read. _Batman is gone_, Barbara thought in shock.

*******

Helena lay in bed crying as she clutched the photo of her mother to her chest. _Happy birthday, Mom_, she thought.

"Get out of bed, freak," Elizabeth said nastily. 

"I'm sick," Helena said trying to keep her voice from breaking. "I'm not going to school."

"You're such a faker," Elizabeth said. "They're going to see right through this."

"Girls, you're going to be late," Mrs. Johnston said as she entered the room. "Elizabeth, go downstairs and have breakfast. Helena, why aren't you out of bed?"

"Helena's _sick_," Elizabeth said as she left the room. 

Mrs. Johnston approached Helena's bed and said, "Roll over so I can feel your forehead."

Helena decided that maybe it would be easier if she just told Mrs. Johnston the truth. Maybe she would understand. Helena rolled over and let Mrs. Johnston see her tears.

"Today is…was…my mom's birthday," Helena said quietly.

"Oh, Helena," Mrs. Johnston said with a sigh. "That was your old life. You need to forget that. I'm your mother now."

"No, you aren't," Helena said knowing that her eyes had changed but not caring if Mrs. Johnston saw.

"Helena, you can't live in the past," Mrs. Johnston said, but stopped when she noticed Helena's eyes. "What's wrong with your eyes?!"  


"There's nothing wrong with my eyes!" Helena shouted. "You're what's wrong!"

"We don't raise our voices in this house, young lady," Mrs. Johnston said sternly.

"Screw you lady," Helena said as she put her mother's picture in the backpack which contained the few personal objects that Helena treasured.

Helena could not stay here another minute. She threw the bag over her shoulder and tried to leave the room, but Mrs. Johnston blocked her. Mr. Johnston came in after hearing the argument.

"Calm down," Mr. Johnston said as if his presence somehow corrected the situation.

Helena felt like a caged animal as she scanned the small room for an escape. Before she knew it she was climbing out the open window onto the roof of the garage. She ran across the roof and jumped down to the ground. To both her own surprise and the Johnston's shock, Helena landed gracefully and continued to run without the slightest pause. 


	4. Chapter 4

Barbara woke up confused. _Where the hell am I?_ she thought foggily. When she tried to sit up and failed to get her legs to swing over the side of the bed, things became clear again. She was in the guest room of her father's house which had recently been remodelled and equipped to fit her 'special' needs. She had left the rehabilitation centre a few days ago. She could not remember how many days it had been. Barbara spent most of her time either sleeping or watching talk shows and so the days blurred together. The reality of her situation was becoming more clear with each passing day and Barbara was retreating inwardly. She barely touched the food her father brought her and she said no more than a few words to him each day. When she had been in the hospital and the rehabilitation centre, things had been so surreal that part of her had maintained that it was all a nightmare. Now, that she was at her father's house, it was getting more and more difficult to hold onto that thought.

Barbara pulled off her blankets and looked at her legs. When she looked at them, they looked like her legs, but when she touched them it was like touching someone else. These legs did not belong to her. She ran her hands up and down her legs willing them to give her even the slightest sensation, but she received nothing. Sometimes she could feel pain in them. The first time that happened she had thought that they were coming back, but she was told by several doctors that she would experience different sensations, but that it was all in her head. The worst was when they felt itching. She would scratch and scratch until the skin turned red, but she would get no relief. That was the worst part. Her mind was teasing her by leading her to believe that something was happening in her legs. 

********

Helena walked around downtown New Gotham City. It had been three days since she had run away from the Johnston's house. She still could not figure out how she had managed to jump from the garage and not hurt herself. Helena was quickly realizing that it was best not to over analyze anything in her life. She had resolved to live in the moment. Helena walked into a bakery to buy a bagel for breakfast. She did not know what she would do in a few days when she ran out of money, but just as she had resolved not to think of the past, she also refused to think of the future either.

********

Barbara heard the front door open as her father entered the house. Like he did every day since she had moved in, Jim came immediately to her room to say hello.

"Hello, Princess," Jim said cheerfully. He had had a great idea while he was at work.

Barbara was too absorbed in her own thoughts to notice the strange look that her father was giving her, but fortunately, the phone rang and Jim left to answer it.

Barbara was bored out of her mind. She needed something to occupy her mind, to stop her from replaying the events of that night and to keep form her fears of the future. She looked over to see that her father had left a case folder on the edge of her bed. It was so like her father to bring work home. He was always working, trying to bring justice to the city, although he had toned it down since Barbara got hurt. She was glad to see that he was getting back to his old self. There was no sense in their both being miserable. Barbara picked up the folder and began to look through it.

********

Jim hung up the phone and made his way back to Barbara's room. The door was open and he caught a glance of her poring over the contents of the folder that he had "accidentally" left in her room. He knew that her curiosity would get the best of her. It gave Jim a flicker of hope that the old, strong Barbara did still exist and was just looking for a way out. He hoped that by getting Barbara involved in one of his cases that she would realize that there were things she could still do despite what had happened. Also, he really did need her help, because the case involved computers and Jim was not very good with the machines, but Barbara had always been a wiz with them.

********

Helena was alone in the cemetery sitting next to her mother's grave. The outline of the hole was still visible. With her finger, Helena traced her mother's name on the headstone. She was all alone in the world.

"Why did you leave me?" Helena asked softly, but she received no answer. 

Helena could take it no longer and she shouted as her tears began to fall, "You were suppose to take care of me! How could you do this to me?! Now I'm all alone!"

Helena felt guilty for being angry with her mother, but she could not contain her anger any longer. Helena laid down next to the headstone and continued to weep.

********

"Thanks for doing this, Alfred," Barbara said as Alfred parked the car over on the side of the road. "I had this crazy idea last night and with this crazy idea I suddenly got the urge to get out of my Dad's place. I love him, but I need to be on my own again."

"Not a problem, Miss Barbara. With Master Bruce gone, there isn't much to do at the manor," Alfred said. 

An uncomfortable silence filled the car at the mention of Bruce's name. Neither Alfred nor Barbara had yet to resolve their feelings concerning Bruce. Both could understand the difficulty that Bruce had been placed in, but both also felt abandoned and disappointed with him too. Barbara was disappointed that Bruce had been able to leave the city he had sworn to protect and although she could not admit it to anyone, but herself, she was angry that he would voluntarily walk away from being Batman when she would trade her soul to be Batgirl for one more night. Alfred was also disappointed that Bruce had left New Gotham to fend for itself, but he was more disappointed and even a little ashamed that Bruce would leave Barbara after what had happened.

Alfred sensed Barbara's discomfort as he helped her out of the car and he made sure that he did not give her more assistance than she absolutely needed. Barbara looked up at the tall building. The New Gotham Clocktower was a very imposing structure.

"So where is the apartment?" Barbara asked as they made their way toward the building. "I thought this entire building was offices."

"Not quite," Alfred answered. "The top floors are all yours."

Barbara struggled a little to keep up with Alfred's brisk pace. He could see that Barbara was fatigued, but he refused to offer his help. Barbara could feel people staring at her and part of her desperately wanted Alfred to offer to push her, but she felt an enormous amount of pleasure from making it the whole way from the car into the building and through the main lobby to the elevators under her own power. The old Barbara was cheering on the inside.

Alfred took her up to the top of the building.

"The elevator requires a password to travel to this level," Alfred said as they exited the elevator.

Barbara was taken aback by the sight she saw. They were in a large room that was open to the second floor of the apartment. The back of the clock face and the clock gears stretched across the back wall. There was a raised platform in the middle of the room. Barbara immediately fell in love with the space. 

"Everything is completely accessible," Alfred stated. "This is the lair with training rooms, kitchen, and living room upstairs. Over that way are the bedrooms and one floor below us is your apartment when you have guests who aren't meant to see this place."

__

Well, Bruce sure did think of everything, Barbara thought. 

"Let me show you the best part," Alfred said. Barbara followed Alfred out onto the balcony.

Barbara wheeled over to the edge of balcony and looked over the city. She closed her eyes hearing the traffic below her and feeling the wind whip at her hair. For a moment, she was Batgirl standing above the city. She opened her eyes and knew that this was where she was meant to be.

"So Bruce said that I should continue his work," Barbara said unsure of how to proceed with this conversation. She was afraid that Alfred would think her idea was foolish. She, herself, was not certain that she could accomplish her goal. "The other day, I spent last week helping my dad solve a case by using some of my computer knowledge and I started thinking that maybe I could fight crime with computers. Using some high tech computers and other equipment, I thought I could set up databases to cross-reference information form different law enforcement agencies. You know how difficult it is for the different agencies to work together. I could also freelance for some of the other heroes. You know how it is. Everyone wants to be out in the streets beating up the bad guys, but no one wants to do the leg work behind the scenes. I don't have that problem anymore. What do you think?"

"That's quite a formidable task that you are suggesting," Alfred said. Barbara immediately felt deflated. She was sure that Alfred would understand. He continued, "But if anyone can make it work, it is you, Miss Barbara."

********

Barbara had finished moving into the clocktower. She was excited about living on her own again and at the same time, it terrified her. She could tell that her father was nervous too. The move had put her in a good mood and she decided to go the grocery store, located half a block away from the clocktower. She had not been in such a good mood since before that night. Even the stares of the people she past did not bother her as much as it usually did. She used to be such a confident person, not caring what people thought, but now wherever she went people either stared at her or they avoided making eye contact, pretending that she did not exist. Barbara had yet to decide which was worst, but then there was no rush. She had the rest of her life to make a decision.

Barbara entered the store and tried to decide what she wanted to make for dinner. Having never been a very good cook, Barbara decided that her best bet was some kind of frozen dinner. Once she had her dinner, she headed to the bakery for some fresh bread. She picked out a loaf of French bread and noticed that a girl was sneaking buns into her coat. Before she had a chance to think it through, Barbara reverted to Batgirl mode.

"What do you think you're doing?" Barbara asked in a commanding voice.

The girl turned around trying to quickly assess if she was going to need to fight her way out of this. When she saw the woman in the wheelchair, she decided that she could easily out run this problem. Barbara gasped when she saw the girl's face.

"Helena?!" Barbara said clearly shocked.

Helena paused in her attempt to flee and took a closer look at the woman, noticing the red hair.

"Barbara?" Helena asked shaken. "You're alive?"

"Umm… yeah," Barbara immediately feeling self-conscious. She hated meeting up with people that she knew from her old life, from before that horrible night. They always had questions that she would rather not answer.

Helena bent down and hugged Barbara, saying, "I thought you had died too. I went to your apartment and I saw you with the paramedics and all the blood. So much blood."

They were silent for a moment as they each relived that awful night. Snapping out of her trance, Helena noticed the wheelchair again.

"Barbara, what happened to you?" Helena asked.

"Umm… that night…I was shot," Barbara started uncomfortably. It was really hard for her to talk about this. Changing the subject, she said, "How are you? I heard you were living with a foster family. How is that?"

"I'm okay," Helena said. Now, it was her turn to be uncomfortable. "The foster family…umm…they're okay."

Helena could not very well tell Barbara that she had been spending the last few nights sleeping in the cemetery, next to her mother's grave. Barbara could tell immediately that Helena was lying, but she could also tell that Helena did not want to be pushed on the subject.

"Why don't you give me those rolls, so I can pay for them?" Barbara said as she headed toward the cashier.

Helena's cheeks turned red as she handed over the half dozen rolls. Barbara paid for her and Helena's groceries and they both made their way to the exit. Outside the weather had taken a turn for the worst. It had begun to rain and it did not seem that the rain would be stopping anytime soon. 

"You know, I live just a block over. If you have a long way to go, you could stay with me until the rain stops," Barbara said sensing Helena's distress at the sight of the rain. "Or you could spend the night, so we can catch up."

"Umm…okay," Helena said relieved to have a dry place to spend the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it's been such a long time since I last posted. This is the end of the story. I hope you all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They belong to DC Comics and the WB.

Helena and Barbara were both relieved when the elevator doors finally opened onto Barbara's new apartment.

"This is it," Barbara said wheeling out of the elevator, breaking the awkward silence that had prevailed since they had left the grocery store. "What do you think?"

Helena looked around at the large open space and all the computer equipment. "What's with all the computer stuff?" Helena asked.

There was only the slightest pause before Barbara answered, "I'm testing new computer programs for Wayne Enterprises."

"Oh…your second job," Helena said distractedly as she walked around the space.

Barbara was confused and asked, "What are you talking about, Helena?"

"Whenever you can't come to the movies or whatever, my mom…" Helena said, nearly coming to tears. Helena quickly turned away so Barbara would not see.

It had been months since Helena had felt like she could mention her mother's name. Seeing Barbara again was tricking Helena into thinking that the last few months had never happened, but at the same time it was driving home harder than before all that she had lost by reminding her how things used to be.

"Helena…" Barbara said quietly, feeling the tears collect behind her eyes thinking of her old friend. Barbara wanted to do something, to say something, but having been on the receiving end of many "I'm-sorry' over the last few months, she knew how little those words meant. They only brought comfort to the person saying the words, because in situations like this, there was an overwhelming desire to do something helpful, anything really.

Silence filled the tower again. Helena and Barbara had always been close and now they could not look each other in the eye or carry on a conversation for more than a few sentences at a time. When Barbara looked at Helena, she barely saw the shadow of the happy, carefree girl that she used to baby-sit. There had always been a little bit of mischief to Helena, but now Barbara could see a darkness when she looked at the girl. Helena was afraid to look at Barbara. This was not the same Barbara that Helena had known almost as long as she could remember. This Barbara was more withdrawn and Helena could see that Barbara had lost her self-confidence. She did not hold her head high like before.

After regaining her composure, Barbara said, forcing a giant smile, "Are you hungry? I promise to only burn it a little bit."

Helena tried to return the smile as she followed Barbara to the kitchen.

**********

Barbara and Helena had just finished their supper, and although Barbara was not gifted with culinary skill, it was the best thing that Helena had had in the last week.

"Do you want to watch some TV," Barbara said as Helena followed her into the living room. "Maybe something on the Discovery Channel about the evolution of reptiles."

"Ew…I hate snakes," Helena said as she sat on the couch.

Barbara pulled up next to the couch and prepared for the transfer. She was not used to doing this in front of other people, only her father and on occasion, Alfred. She started and nearly toppled to the floor but she managed to throw herself back into the chair. Helena jumped off the couch. Barbara's cheeks were aflame with embarrassment. 

"Do want me to help?" Helena asked carefully.

"No!" Barbara snapped as she tried again to get to the couch and succeeded.

Helena sat down on the couch too, afraid to upset Barbara anymore.

Now, Barbara was embarrassed and ashamed. "I'm sorry, Helena," Barbara said quickly, not looking at Helena. "I…I just need to do things for myself. I'm sorry."

**********

__

Barbara stood in her bathrobe in the middle of her old apartment. She had been here before, many times. She could feel the water from her wet hair roll down her back. She heard the knock at the door. It echoed through the apartment. Don't do it!_ she tried to yell, but as usual her mind only got to watch as the events played out the same way that they always did. Her body advanced toward the door despite her minds protests. Her hand reached out toward the door knob. Barbara's mind tensed as she waited for the door to open, but at the last minute her body finally responded to her pleas. She turned around only to be faced again with the door. She turned to her right and then her left. She kept running into the door. She heard him laugh from behind the doors that surrounded her._

"Baaaaatgiiiiiiirl," he taunted. "Knock. Knock. Little bat, little bat, let me come in."

His cackle echoed off the walls as Barbara desperately turned around in circles looking for any escape. She was panicking. Her heart bounding. Her mind racing. 

**********

Barbara woke up screaming. She was sweating and the sheets and blankets had been pushed toward the foot of the bed over her useless legs. The screaming continued and it took Barbara a minute to realize that the yells were not coming from her mouth. _Who the hell is in here?_ Barbara thought totally disorientated. She finally remembered that Helena was sleeping on the couch in the living room. Barbara transferred herself from the bed into the wheelchair as quickly as she could. She moved to the door and jammed her hand between the door frame and the wheelchair in her rush. 

  
"Dammit!" Barbara cried out in pain. 

She pushed forward toward the living room. Helena was no longer screaming, but yelling at someone.

"Mom!" Helena yelled as Barbara finally made her way to the living room.

The blanket and pillow that Barbara had given the girl were thrown on the floor next to the couch.

"Helena," Barbara said gently. "Helena, it's okay. Wake up."

Barbara reached out and touched Helena's shoulder to rouse her. At Barbara's touch, Helena sat straight up and threw a fist towards Barbara's head, yelling, "Don't take her!"

Barbara was barely able to block Helena's attack. The girl was surprisingly quick and strong. Helena came to with a start confused by her strange surroundings and noticing that she had attacked Barbara.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Barbara," Helena said quickly, still shaken by her dream. She was breathing hard, her pulse was racing, and her eyes were scanning the room for danger.

"It's okay, Helena," Barbara said soothingly, but then her blood ran cold. "Helena…you're…eyes."

Barbara stared in confusion. Helena's panic doubled. _Why now?!_ Helena thought. _Not Barbara, she's all I have left._ Luckily, Helena had not unpacked her bag, if only she could remember where she had left it.

"It's okay, Helena," Barbara said, seeing the hurt and panic on Helena's face. "You don't need to worry. There's nothing wrong with you."

It took Helena a minute to understand what Barbara was saying. _Is she trying to trick me?_ Helena thought unsure if she could trust Barbara. She wanted to trust Barbara, but she was afraid.

"Your mother had it too," Barbara said to Helena's surprise.

"That's a lie," Helena said angrily. "My mother was not a freak!"

"No, she wasn't," Barbara said trying to calm the girl down. "Neither are you."

Barbara allowed a moment for her words to sink in. Helena was conflicted. On the one hand, Barbara was trying to tell her that her mother was a freak, and yet at the same time, she was not reacting with fear like the Johnstons had.

"What's wrong with me, Barbara?" Helena said on the verge of tears as the defences came down.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Barbara said coming closer to the girl and taking her hand. "I don't really know any specifics, but there are people who have gifts…abilities…beyond what is normally considered human. You're not a freak. I promise you that. You aren't the only one. Your mom was the same way, but she could control it better. I only caught a glimpse once. Remember that time that she went to that business conference out of town and you came to stay with me for a few days. You had a slight fever when she left, but then it spiked the next day and I took you to the hospital. When she came to the hospital, for an instant her eyes did what yours did, but only for the slightest instant and then she had it under control again."

"What does this mean? Can we fix it?" Helena asked, relieved to finally be able to talk about it.

"I'm not really sure what it is, Helena. Your mother never talked about it with me, but I'll see what I can find out. I want you to know that there isn't anything wrong with you. You're safe here. You don't have to be afraid," Barbara said.

"Thank you, Barbara," Helena said as she cried, reaching out to hug Barbara. "When the Johnstons found out…I don't want to go back there…Please, don't make."

"It's okay," Barbara said returning Helena's embrace. "I don't know what we'll do, but you won't go back there again."

Barbara and Helena both sat back in silence. Finally, someone was on Helena's side. She was so happy, but she was afraid that this brief moment of happiness would be ripped from her like before. Barbara for her part was happy that she could help Helena. For the first time, since that night, someone wanted and actually expected her to help, instead of thinking that she needed help, but at the same time, she was worried, because she did not know how she was going to keep her promise to Helena about not going back to the Johnstons. 

"Do you think that you're going to be able to sleep?" Barbara asked.

"Umm…sure," Helena said deliberately taking her time as she picked up the blanket and the pillow from the floor. 

Barbara instinctively knew what the problem was. She could never fall back asleep after one of her dreams either.

"I dream about that night, too," Barbara said quietly. She had never talked to anyone about this, not even her father. 

"Do you think the dreams ever go away?" Helena asked, desperate for Barbara to give her the answer she wanted to hear.

Barbara paused. "I don't know…maybe in time," Barbara said. "We just need to remember that dreams can't hurt us."

"Right," Helena said trying to sound convinced as she busied herself getting the pillow and blanket back on the couch. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay," Barbara said as she turned to leave.

Barbara made her way back to her bedroom, trying to wrap her mind around everything that had happened in the last few minutes. _How am I going to keep Helena from going back there?_ she asked herself. The obvious answer was that she could keep Helena here with her, but there were also obvious reasons against that too. Barbara could barely take care of herself. She would be no good to Helena either. Besides, Barbara was trying to get the Delphi system up and running. She had named it after one of her favourite Greek myths. She had decided to become Oracle, sitting and dispensing the information that she received. 

Barbara got in to bed knowing that the residual effects from her nightmare and her anxiety over Helena would prevent her from sleeping anymore, but she figured that she should at least try. Barbara lay there thinking things over. Her thoughts running in circles, never reaching a conclusion or a decision. She barely noticed when Helena slipped into the room.

"Barbara?" Helena whispered. "Are you asleep?"

"No, I'm awake," Barbara said propping herself up on her elbows. "Are you okay?"

"Umm…I…was wondering…"Helena stammered. "Could I sleep in here?"

"Sure, Helena," Barbara said, sliding herself over to make room for Helena. "Don't worry. I don't kick in my sleep."

Helena slipped under the covers. 

"That's not funny, Barbara," Helena said sombrely. "Of course, you never were very funny."

"Ouch," Barbara said pretending to be hurt as she and Helena shared a short giggle.

"Goodnight," Helena said rolling onto her side away from Barbara.

"Goodnight, Helena," Barbara replied.

For the first time in months, Helena slept through the night. She was comforted by Barbara's presence. She knew that things would never be the same again, the way they should be, but maybe Barbara would keep her promises. Helena was not counting on it, but she had hope which was more than she had had in months. It took Barbara a long time to fall asleep, but not because of her dream. She did not fall asleep until she had come to an important decision, one that would change her life. She just hoped that she was strong enough to follow through, because so much was riding on it.

**********

Barbara was startled out of her thoughts by a noise coming from the second story of the lair. She looked up to see Dinah racing down the staircase only to have Helena hop over the railing of the second floor and land in front of the stairs as Dinah came down.

"Barbara, Helena's using her powers in the house," Dinah tattled.

It took Barbara a moment to get her bearings. 

"What?" Barbara said momentarily confused. "Oh…right, Helena, you know the rules."

"You're such a cheater," Dinah said smiling. "I think I know how to even the playing field. I'm going to beat you to the kitchen and you'll be lucky if you can find even one crumb from the batch of cookies Alfred made."

With that Dinah was off, but when Helena tried to follow, she found that she could not move. Dinah was using her telekinesis to hold Helena in place.

"Can you believe this kid?" Helena asked Barbara, noticing Barbara's far away look.

When Dinah finally released Helena, Helena came over to Barbara at the Delphi system.

"Are you okay, Barbara?" Helena asked concerned.

"Me? Oh yeah! I'm fine," Barbara said quickly. "I was just thinking about something."

Barely audibly, Helena said, "Thank you."

"What?" Barbara asked confused. "What are you thanking me for?"

"I remember what today is, too. It was just over seven years from today that you let me move in here," Helena said. "I never really thanked you. I don't know where I would be without you."

"Helena, that isn't -" Barbara was interrupted by Dinah shouting, "Mmm…these are great cookies. Too bad there are none left for you, Helena!"

Helena turned to Barbara, who laughed as she said, "Go, but you better save me some or the two of you will be training until Alfred makes another batch."

Helena ran out of the room toward the kitchen. Barbara smiled. This was one of the times when she thought that maybe she did some good for Helena. Thinking back to that night, the night that set everything in motion, Barbara realized that Joker got the last laugh that night, but maybe, she and Helena had the very last laugh, because they were both stronger than they would have been without the Joker's intervention.


End file.
